Your other half says something that triggers you in the wrong way, and it quickly escalates into an argument. As the argument takes off—you experience several physiological changes such as tightened face muscles, increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, muscle tension in different parts of the body.
You lose your ability to think rationally and understand your partner’s perspective. As the argument progresses, you recognize that some things can never be unsaid. This might result in feeling blamed, hurt and disappointed in the relationship.You would never have imagined how a petty disagreement could escalate into a such an emotional roller coaster. This happens to most of us. For some, even multiple times with different kinds of relationships. But is there a way to manage it better?
A regular practice of Mindfulness Meditation is a means through which you can gain more control of your interactions. It is an approach to living that increases acceptance, compassion and self-awareness. Sometimes known as attitudinal and attentional mindfulness, it is the process of paying total attention to the present moment with non-judgemental awareness and acceptance of one’s inner and outer experiences.
A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Human Sciences and Extension found that consistent practice of mindfulness meditation leads to a long-term happier and more satisfying relationship. A recent study reveals that mindfulness helps individuals to recognize their responses by becoming aware and regulating their emotions. In addition to their own awareness, it also affords one the ability to empathize with their partner during situations of conflict. Additionally, observing one’s own experience and reactions on a daily basis helps acknowledge our motivations and values leading to a deeper sense of self-awareness. Additional benefits include better focus, reduction in stress an anxiety, enhancing creativity, planning and decision-making abilities, developing an internal rather than external control, as well as reducing biases and hidden judgements.
The view of mindfulness meditation is changing from a spiritual practise to that of proper neuroscience — in its impact on neuroplasticity, brain recovery and in its function in improving brain health. Here are some brain-based ways in which practising mindfulness may help you have a happier relationships:
Mindfulness enhances emotion regulation
Studies have revealed that practising mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex. The part of the brain responsible for problem-solving, decision-making, planning, working memory and social skills. When the amygdala is upset, it stops the prefrontal cortex from getting information it needs to help us make rational choices. By calming the amygdala down through mindfulness, it allows the information flow to the prefrontal cortex. In turn helping us to make better choices. So, when we are in the middle of the argument, we can actually “Stop!” ourselves and thereby avoid going into conflicting situations.
Mindfulness improves self-awareness
The anterior cingulate cortex is an area in the brain that is concerned with our sense of self and pain. Imaging studies show that mindfulness soothes the brain patterns underlying pain. These changes are said to alter the structure of the brain to reduce the intensity of pain. Mindfulness can help us realise when we are acting in an unhealthy manner and redirect us into acting better according to our core values.
Mindfulness can make us be more empathetic.
Insula, is a small part in the brain that is associated with empathy and compassion. It is believed to form an interoceptive image of one’s physical state and, as a result, increases self-projection. Mindfulness can make us understand our partner’s perspectives and emotions better. Thus, we can be compassionate towards our partners, rather than feeling angry and take the conversation in a positive direction.
One can experience and witness deeper breathing, relaxed postures, better listening, more tolerance, improved communication, a clearer sense of self—and less negative behaviours like agitation, trying to take control of their partner, withdrawal from the conversation and coerce through consistent practise of mindfulness meditation.While mindfulness is something we all naturally possess, it’s more readily available to us when we practise on a daily basis.
Relationship satisfaction is something that we all strive for. But only few of us know the key to do it. Rather than spending endless hours complaining or trying to change our partner, let’s take a step to be mindful. Even better, a mindfulness workshop by Synapsium to find the key for relationship satisfaction. This can help you learn to take control of the present and be more emotionally mature and everyone wants that!
Authorship: Akshay Dixit, Community Outreach Coordinator at Synapsium